Our players spent about 10 minutes talking with each person in the group, asking them one question they had prepared and then letting things develop from there. Later, they gathered again to discuss what they learned about each other.
Interestingly, Carla and Sabrina returned to the living room wiping their eyes and laughing, in a weepy sort of way. “We’re coming!” they said. “We need another hour.”
“We just need a chocolate bar.”
Here’s what the group asked Sabrina, and what they heard her say:
Q. (From Louella) Do you feel people think of you as a pastor’s wife? Do you feel like people are watching how you’re handling your children?
A. In church, she does feel like people are watching her with the children, but the people really do support her.
Q. (From Mim)What’s the hardest part of being a pastor’s wife and having little children?
A. Sunday morning is the hardest (in church), especially getting the children ready by herself and staying with them by herself.
Q. (From Dot)Is there one thing that people say or ask that never stops being hurtful?
A. It really bothers her when people point out the stigma of there being no place on applications for a stay-at-home mom.
Q. (From Martha) What are you doing to nurture your marriage in a life with so many responsibilities?
A. Martha comments that although Sabrina is very apologetic and says, “We don’t really do much together,” in fact, they do: they pray together, they sit and talk together. “What more can you do?” asks Martha. Oh, and yes, they watch the Andy Griffith Show together, too.
Q. (From Naomi) As a young pastor’s wife, what are your needs that don’t get met? What do you yearn for?
A. She’d love more time with her husband, even if it’s just driving places together. And she’d love it if people close to her would volunteer to take the kids.
Q. (From Elnora, speaking as a mother-in-law) What kind word or deed would mean the most to you coming from your mother-in-law?
A. She enjoys hearing her mother-in-law say things like, “I appreciate the way you love my son and the way you raise my grandchildren.”
Q. (From Carla) How would you feel most supported by someone who gets out of the house?
A. Carla talks about the way she and Sabrina recognize that Carla has communication at work; they recognize that they live in the same community and that they should be focusing on how they can help each other.
Lynette jumps in on this one, picking up on the emotional undercurrents in Carla’s description of Sabrina’s answer. “This one needs so much sensitivity and communication. For you (Sabrina) to feel validated, the other can feel not validated, and it’s not true.”
Phyllis adds, “Women are encountering [these different spheres] at a relatively young age. It’s harder . . . at a younger age.”
And the echoes of Mommy Wars past and present fill the corners of the room. (Translation, for those unfamiliar with the term: Mommy Wars refers to tensions between women who make different parenting choices; it can be anything from working outside the home vs. working at home, to breastfeeding vs. bottlefeeding, to homeschooling vs. sending your children to public or private school.)
To our readers: What would you ask Sabrina?