Questions I wish someone would ask me

If you’ve been following our blog, you have a fair idea of what we’re talking about here: how to be honest with each other; how to help each other be the person God has called us to be, how to understand and value each other even when we’re living very different lives. We really want to get past the insecurity and defensiveness that can make us judge each other.

If you’re new to the blog, feel free to take a minute, visit the November archives, and get a feel for who we are and who we want to be. Comment when the fancy strikes you, or read quietly at night while nobody’s watching. It’s up to you.

But do please join the conversation!

And now, something for you to do. You’ve read the questions our brave women have asked each other. Tell us a little bit about yourself. What stage of life are you in? What sphere are you operating in right now? And what questions do you wish people would ask you in order to understand you better?

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16 Responses to Questions I wish someone would ask me

  1. Joy says:

    Ask me how I’m doing or what I’ve been involved with lately. Don’t just greet my kids with those questions.

    We’ve lived in a new community for 4 years. I believe I’m the only stay-at-home mom in our church. When I walk into a room or meet someone in the grocery store the response is that they usually immediately talk to my kids (and often only to my kids, with maybe a smile for me). It’s not that they’re trying to exclude or ignore me, but I feel that my children and I are often lumped together into one entity. (“Say Hi to one and you’ve got them all covered.”) Yes, I choose to not work outside the home at this stage in our lives, but my children aren’t my whole life. Please remember that I’m still my own person!

    • Patricia King says:

      Hi Joy!! That’s a great point you make about still being your own person. So,
      How have you been? What have you been up to lately? Read any good books?
      What is God showing you for this season of your life? =)

      • Joy says:

        Well, Patricia, I’ve been rereading Job and love the reminders of God’s ultimate power, control, and knowledge of every situation. I’m enjoying “Women of the Bible”, a one-year devotional. And I’m concerned by the power of materialism and wonder how to navigate those dilemmas both for myself and in raising my children.

        Thanks for asking! ; )

      • Patricia King says:

        Would that devotional happen to be by Liz Curtis Higgs?
        I am looking for a yearly devotional to give to my mother in law.
        Do you mind sharing the author?? thnx :)

      • Joy says:

        It’s by Ann Spangler and Jean E. Syswerda; I’ve used it for gifts as well!

    • Kristin Bucher says:

      To do something that is not the “in” thing in your community takes a lot of courage. You are a great mom despite what your kids might say (if I asked them). :) I enjoy reading your blog and the humorous spin you put on everyday mom situations. Things that every mom can relate to and it’s refreshing to see the humorous side of things.

  2. Patricia King says:

    I wish people would ask (and really want to hear) “What has God been doing in your life?”
    It seems like there is nobody to share this with. There have to be other women that feel alone in this too. Probably it comes down to a ‘time’ issue. Equally I would like to know “What God is doing in their lives?” What scripture has He highlighted for you? Or what life lesson did you recently identify with in the Bible? Have you come across any really great soaking music? Did you get an answer to prayer? etc. Things like that.

    • Sabrina Lehman says:

      I recently had a conversation with someone about this very question. I fear the reason we are scared to ask this question is because we are afraid we will put someone on the spot. What if they can’t answer the question? Maybe we are so good at “doing” church, that actually living as the church should live is uncomfortable. Great question Patricia.

      • Joy says:

        Unless I know a person fairly well already, I’m usually hesitant to ask those questions for fear it feels like ‘prying’ into their lives. But without asking those questions, you don’t REALLY get to know a person, do you? Maybe I need to ask myself, “Would I mind answering that question?”

      • Patricia King says:

        It is unfortunate that FEAR rules in this area. So are we more afraid of what God will think if we ask, or more afraid of what OTHERS will think? Don’t we ‘pry’ when we ask the condition of another person’s salvation? Couldn’t this be a great threshold to find out “where people are” in their walk with the Lord? Couldn’t we guide our teaching based on what we find out.
        For example: During many (too many) prayer counseling sessions I have heard “God is angry with me”. It breaks my heart. NO! He is NOT. He loves you. But the heart believes what it believes….We Have to begin to connect on a HUMAN level and to change the [corrupted] mindset of the Saints, this allows for a change outside the church walls as well.
        We are all equal at the Cross!

    • Regina Yoder says:

      Patricia, you took the words right out of my mouth. God is doing so much in my life, and I feel like I’m about to burst sometimes. But it feels like I’ve got no one to tell. Part of the reason is that I’m a stay-at-home mom to 8 wonderful kids, and I don’t get out very often. If I do get out, much of our activities center around the kids, and no much heart to heart talking. I think I could write a book, (f I only had the time), and still not scratch the surface of the magnificence of God’s working in my life. If anyone knows of someone aching to write an amazing story as it continues to unfold, let me know. :) It is truly amazing how He orchestrates our circumstances to carry out His creative plan. If we just look He is everywhere, and even when it seems like life is turning upside down, He’s there in the middle of it, working it out for our good. I just wish someone would ask me……”so what’s God been doing in YOUR life?” It’s got me thinking I need to be asking that same question to other women around me.

  3. Angie Thieszen says:

    I completely agree, Joy! I’m a stay at home mom of three (4 1/2, almost 3, and 1). I have chosen to be a stay at home mom and for the most part I am glad with that decision, however, I do not feel like that is what I want to define me. I have lost a sense of my own identity by being a mom and especially be being a stay at home mom. Working moms at least get “she’s a mom and works at…” I just get “she’s a mom”. I desperately want women to share about life with ME! I want to share, like you, Patricia, what the Lord is doing in my life and I would LOVE to hear what He’s doing in others’ lives. It’s inspiring and refreshing and a wonderful reminder to me that there is more to life than just being a mom. It’s a wonderful thing, but there is still so much more beyond it. I’m excited to tap into this blog and to hear from the women commenting on here…it’s RIGHT up my alley!!!

    • Patricia King says:

      To Angie, and all SAHMs I just want to give a word of encouragement.
      I have two boys 8 & 6 but I also have a son that’s 21 & daughter that just turned 16. So I feel like I am on my second go around at this. (Doubly Blessed!) What I have learned that seems to work pretty well is that you need to take time for yourself whenever you can. Which means you will get little snippets throughout the day. All those pieces of time add up though and you can get quite a lot accomplished. I have gone to college, written portions of two books that have been published, written biblical teachings that are online weekly, done prayer ministry inside & outside my home, written training manuals, taught for years each week in my church, been in leadership at my church, re-built a web site for an international ministry (which I self taught how to use the programs) I home school my daughter as I did with her older brother, and still had time to squeeze in room mom (still quality time with my little guys!) Whenever possible I volunteer in the kid’s church (you guessed it, in my son’s class) When I clean, I listen to worship music or a DVD teaching (its spiritual food!) There are times that my 5 year old would crawl under my prayer shawl with me. When I go to a class I ask two or three gals to come along, that turns it into a girls night (or afternoon) Well you get the point. My time is God’s time and I don’t want to waste any of it.
      Being a mom is so important to the Lord. Did you know that no other job is even mentioned in the Bible for a woman? Except Deborah, and if you look in Judges 5:7 it says the ppl she lead honored her with the greatest honor they could think of… to call her mother of Israel. Yep, mother. That’s pretty special:P

      • Annie Ray says:

        Odd…….i remember reading about a tentmaker and………….? …..and………..and………and……. New and Old Testament. I was surprised by the things these women did! My Bible is all marked up with female symbols (you know the little stick female) identifying these bold and courageous sisters in their CALLING and the sphere they lived. God had them working all over the place and some likely were also moms :). I used to be critical of women who were moms and also worked outside the home until God called me to a career and I became one of ‘them’. I think God must have smiled to see my journey, as a few of the panel said it “kicking and screaming” :) :) :) until I learned to enjoy it equally as much as I did being ‘at home’. Isn’t it great that it is His to decide and to enable and to reward, and not ours?

      • Patricia King says:

        I think it’s great that He can call us to more than one thing, and in more than one season of our lives. It makes life alot easier when you realize Who is in control:)

  4. Kristin Bucher says:

    My stage of life: wife/mom/part-time student/living cross culturally.

    I’ve been thinking about this question for awhile. And now sitting down to write and read previous comments, I’m amazed how my questions are similar to my friends who’ve written above. Ask me about this last week. Ask me what God is doing in my life. Ask me how I see God working in other people’s lives.

    The past year I’ve been part of a women’s small group that meets twice a month. I love these women. We come from all different backgrounds and countries. It’s a small group; only 5 of us. They’ve been a support and an anchor for me and my families’ transition living in Asia. I know not everyone has this type of opportunity. It does take time. When I was younger I wondered why in the world my mom always wanted to hang out with other women and all they did was talk!!!! Now I know, and I realize the necessity of women being able to fellowship and encourage and pray for one another.

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